Baseball Rant

Can I be vulnerable and petty and angry here? 

Isac had to make a tough decision and he is no longer playing baseball with the Madison Bobcat Varsity Team. 

 I know how this looks. What kind of person quits halfway through the season? 

Well, I can tell you that it isn’t the kid who pays for baseball from the time he is 12 by mowing lawns because his parents can’t afford it. It isn’t the kid who creates a baseball league for his little brother and plays for hours in the backyard every day to help him get better. It’s not the kid who shows up to practices and games with a desire to work hard and make things fun for his teammates and coaches. It's not the kid whose entire family comes to every game and cheers their guts out, talking baseball around the dinner table each night. It’s not the kid who made no errors in the outfield and had a competitive batting average the few games he played this season. 

No. That kid doesn’t quit. He loves the sport too much. 

And he’s not afraid of fighting for his position. With parents that have always taken a backseat to interfering with coaching decisions and sports drama, the kid is used to fighting his own battles. 

Now, the kid that has a long conversation with his coach, hoping to be given one reason why he has been pulled off the field after only playing three games, one reason that his coach wants him to stay, and instead is told, “You're doing great but I need to give more experience to the younger players on the team. I’m not going to have you play. If you decide to quit, I support any decision you make;” the kid that talks to the assistant coach who admits, "I better not tell you too much or I might lose my job, but we've got a lot of parents funding the program and yelling at the head coach about their kids' amount of playtime;" that kid’s not quitting the team, he’s being let go of the team while others are playing for the wrong reasons. 

Really, I’m the one that needs to let go of my pride about how others will see my son when they learn that he’s done playing (see, I can’t even say the word, “quit!”). 

I’m pretty sure what I’m experiencing is what psychologists would call “expectation grief.” I expected that Isac would be given a fighting chance to play his senior year. I was wrong.